A few years ago there was an email going about my friend circle with a number of questions. One of these questions was: "Do you believe in love at first sight?" I don't remember what I answered, but at the time I wasn't sure. It wasn't something I had given much thought.
A few years later and I know that I don't - not in a romantic way anyway - in most cases. Perhaps there are those exceptions and extraordinary times when people meet for the first time and just know that this is the person they are going to get married, but in general I don't think love at first sight happens. Here's why:
There's more to a person than looks
Can you really see someone and just know that you will be happy with them? That they are a nice person and that you have enough similarities and dissimilarities to be together for the rest of your life?
How you see a person changes
Perhaps this is just me, but the first time I see someone they physically look different to how they do after I have gotten to know them. I guess this is because as you get to know people you notice and appreciate different things about them. The flaws become less obvious and you look for the beautiful eyes you noticed or the pretty smile that makes them look even more lovely. A few years ago someone said something about a friend's physical appearance and when I thought about it it was there, but I had ceased to notice it.
Love
Love at first sight is linked to eros, one of the greek words for love. It is a passionate love. One explanation that I read says that: "Though Eros is directed towards another, it actually has self in mind. For example: “I love you because you make me happy.”" Eros has to do with emotions. Emotions change. There are other loves (the greek had many words for love) that also need to be present.
Maybe a marriage that is started on eros can survive by developing the others, but if not, it probably won't last long.
I think a lot of what makes you like people is their personality. Their humour, their idiosyncrasies, the way they treat you and the way they act. It takes time to get to know them and to learn and appreciate these things about them.
If "love at first sight" is all you have to go on, you're only looking at what you see when you first meet them. Yes, this is a part of them, but is it enough to know that you are in love with them and will love them for the rest of your life?
