Just Keep Learning...

After all my good intentions of being more consistent and interactive, I just disappeared. I'm not exactly sure why, but it wasn't just because life got busy, but things started to seem pointless. Sometimes not being able to see that there's anything coming from an endeavour is discouraging because sometimes my words seem to not make sense even to me. Even though I'm not trying to make a huge difference with this blog I do hope that my words mean something to someone. Anyhow, I thought it would be good to share some things I've learnt recently, both about myself and about life in general.

1) Being not okay is okay. I know this, but I don't like not being okay. I feel like I should be able to handle a lot more than I can and that I shouldn't need help. Yet I have been blessed with so many great people around me that can help me and do and I am grateful for that. Also, not being happy all the time doesn't make you a terrible person. At some stage I thought that Christians had to be more or less okay all the time unless something hugely traumatic happened, but sometimes I'm not okay for small reasons, or not any reason at all it seems. I've found a lot of comfort in talking to people that understand and also in the Psalms. David is remembered as a great man but there were days that he really wasn't okay. Yet even in those times he praised God. I want to learn from that.

2) I set expectations of myself that are not what others expect. This causes a lot of stress that is really unnecessary. I want to do things well, but sometimes, instead of just focusing on that and doing the best that I can, I start to worry that I'm not doing it well enough for someone else's standard, or that I can't do it well enough, which also takes away any enjoyment or motivation I previously had.

3) Community is vital. I've found that often talking to someone, whether it is about a bad day, an unwelcome feeling or a situation, can be very helpful. Even if they can't help, just having someone know what's going on let's you feel less alone. If you have some people that you know you can message just to ask them to pray for you or to talk, I'd encourage you to contact them.

4) People need your love more than your judgement. People make mistakes, start thinking in ways that might not make sense to you and that need to change, but sometimes all you can do is to still love them through that and pray for them. Sometimes no amount of talking and giving your opinion or even explaining what is right will change their mind.

I don't like going through confusing times and stages that I don't handle as well as I would like to, but I am grateful for the things that I learn through those times. I am also comforted by the fact that even when I'm not being the "best" person that I can be God doesn't stop loving me.